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Criminal!



Rep. William Jefferson deserves to be stripped of his office and put in jail for a long, long time. Here he is, PUBLICLY violating one of the cardinal rules by which a man lives his life.



I hope I don't have to explain why this is so wrong, but just in case there are any readers who are unaware of the basics of men's tailoring: A MAN MUST NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BUTTON THE BOTTOM BUTTON ON A SUIT JACKET, SPORT COAT, OR BLAZER. (Unless it's a one-button jacket, of course.)

And you can see why! Not only is it JUST PLAIN WRONG, but it causes the jacket to bunch up at the sides, since the jacket was not made to have the bottom button fastened. Two buttons? Button the top one. Three buttons? Button the middle one, top is optional. More than three buttons? Shoot your tailor in the face and then turn the weapon on yourself.



Lock him up and throw away the key. You would NOT see this shit in the Senate, I can guarantee you.

Comments

( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
bardot
May. 26th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC)
hahaha, oh i am (still) laughing because i had to teach jason this.
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 05:54 pm (UTC)
I am always shocked when a guy doesn't know this, but I gather it's more common than I like to believe.
(no subject) - bardot - May. 26th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - scythrop - May. 26th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
youngliars
May. 26th, 2006 05:59 pm (UTC)
Are you a subscriber to The Chap magazine?
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC)
No. Should I be? I have not heard of this!
(no subject) - youngliars - May. 26th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - scythrop - May. 26th, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - youngliars - May. 26th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
trixiefirecat
May. 26th, 2006 05:59 pm (UTC)
ha ha ha ha!!!! i LOVE the big black arrow.
[the colbert in me said omg he's stepping on the stars above the eagle, NO!!]
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 06:03 pm (UTC)
God, the Colbert opening sequence is totally the best thing ever, ever, ever produced!
(no subject) - trixiefirecat - May. 26th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - scythrop - May. 26th, 2006 06:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - trixiefirecat - May. 26th, 2006 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
ilovecupcakes
May. 26th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
i hope the bastard rots in hell for committing such a travesty amongst his fellow man!
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC)
No joke! I mean, yeah, he's probably going down for accepting bribes and wasting taxpayer dollars behind closed doors, but the REAL CRIME is right here, out in the open.
gabriel266
May. 26th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
I say we lynch him!
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC)
Now, now! I'm too Southern for talk like that.
bird
May. 26th, 2006 06:28 pm (UTC)
i had no idea. i think suit jackets look awful generally anyhow, unless they are sort of tight.
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC)
I prefer a closer cut myself.
(no subject) - bird - May. 26th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bird - May. 26th, 2006 06:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
cataptromancer
May. 26th, 2006 06:39 pm (UTC)
I understand, of course, although this does bring up the old question: so why do they put the bottom button on there? For inclement weather when bundling up finally trumps a cardinal fashion rule? For symmetry?
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 07:07 pm (UTC)
I think it's just tradition and visual balance. I believe Edward VII is responsible for the unbuttoning in the first place, and the ability of a Royal Personage to set sartorial standards died with his eldest grandson, who maintained the status quo on this particular issue.
(Deleted comment)
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 08:47 pm (UTC)
I couldn't even see the seal I was so blinded by that button!

Comme ça:

hazel_rah
May. 26th, 2006 08:38 pm (UTC)
if he left the bottom button unbuttoned the documents he's trying to smuggle out of the building would fall to the floor.
scythrop
May. 26th, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
Yeah but then someone would try and help him pick them up, which would be an unprecedented upset to the balance of powers, so he could get the Speaker of the House involved and everyone would forget about the documents! No need to dress sloppily in my government scandal scenarios.
(no subject) - hazel_rah - May. 26th, 2006 09:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - scythrop - May. 26th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
personofporlock
May. 26th, 2006 11:35 pm (UTC)
Ha ha! I knew it IMMEDIATELY! I have to show R, but he might want to switch parties!


(Hmm, he just pointed out that Craig Ferguson always does up the bottom button. Weird.)
scythrop
May. 27th, 2006 12:23 am (UTC)
I didn't know who that was, but a quick Googling (plus, well, his name) reveals that he is a Scot, a nationality I associate with strict sartorial rules. Doubly shocking!

And yes, were my convictions weaker, this might nudge me to the other side. I'm sure they have better liquor as well.
(no subject) - lovipug - May. 30th, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
nikkster
May. 29th, 2006 10:47 am (UTC)
once again i am entertaining futile fantasies of moving to california. the safest cities in america include irvine, san diego, sunnyvale, thousand oaks, mission viejo, glendale, san jose.

and, with commendable consistency, richmond VA always features in the top 10 most dangerous... often the top 5
scythrop
May. 30th, 2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
Safety, schmafety. We have the Poe Museum!

(Richmond is a mess in many ways, it's true. Many of the murders are drug dealers killing each other, or otherwise drug related. Largely contained in certain areas of the city that have been sorely neglected for far too long, though of course sometimes the senselessness branches out.)
macrame_owl
Jun. 27th, 2006 05:57 pm (UTC)
i just found you on another friend's journal speaking about the benefits of chemical peels and giving recipies (potions? spells?!) for some. anyways, you seem fantastic and i want to be friends.
_wwld_
Aug. 22nd, 2006 05:11 pm (UTC)
I know next to NOTHING, since i been NEXT TUTU YOU!
aerodrome1
Apr. 3rd, 2007 09:22 pm (UTC)
Remember: this is a man who put several hundred thousand dollars in his freezer instead of a breadbox...
aerodrome1
Apr. 3rd, 2007 09:24 pm (UTC)
I do find your sense of style and wit quite fun... May I be allowed to read along?
scythrop
Apr. 3rd, 2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
Certainly! And thank you.
(no subject) - aerodrome1 - Apr. 3rd, 2007 09:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 40 comments — Leave a comment )